If you’re asking this question then you already suspect they may be cheating or at least that something is amiss in your relationship. Here is a list of some things to look for if you suspect someone is being unfaithful in your relationship.
1. Unusual, unscheduled or seemingly unnecessary trips out of town or to your vacation home. If your partner starts finding reasons to get way from home, your suspicions should be heightened as to where they are going and the reason for the trip.
2. An altered schedule - When your partner, who generally never works late, suddenly needs to work late, and that starts to happen more and more frequently, they may be lying to you. Traffic jams, spending extra time at the gym, and similar excuses for being late or absent altogether might also signal infidelity. A cheating partner might also suddenly be forgetful about picking up the kids, birthdays and other important events, etc.
3. Improved appearance - If your partner suddenly starts exercising and eating healthier, that could be a sign that they are trying to appear more attractive to someone (possibly you, but possibly an affair partner). A noticeable change or upgrade in their everyday clothing can also be cause for suspicion, especially if your partner looks the same around you, but significantly better for work or certain social events.
4. Periods where your significant other is unreachable - If your partner is having an affair, they are less likely to answer your calls or respond to your texts. You may hear legitimate-sounding excuses like they were in a meeting, they were driving, they were in a “dead zone” and didn’t know you were trying to get in touch. At the end of it all, if your partner is suddenly and increasingly inaccessible, you should be paying attention to other indicators.
5. Secretive phone or computer use - Cheaters tend to use their phones and computers more frequently than before and to guard them as if their lives depend on it. If your partner’s phone and laptop never required a password before, and now they do, that’s a strong indicator of a secret relationship. If your partner suddenly starts deleting texts, clearing their browser history or stops leaving their phone unattended and becomes agitated when you ask about it, there’s typically something to hide.
6. Significantly less, or more, or different sex in your relationship - Both decreased and increased levels of sexual activity in your relationship can be a sign of infidelity. Less sex occurs because your partner is focused on someone else; more sex occurs because they are trying to cover that up. Another possible sign of cheating is that the sex you and your partner are having feels less emotionally connected. Yet another possible sign is that your partner is introducing new techniques and activities into your sex life. As much as you might enjoy that, it’s possible that they are learning new tricks outside of your relationship.
7. Your partner is hostile toward you and your relationship - Cheaters tend to rationalize their behavior (in their own minds). One way they do this is to push the blame onto you. They tell themselves that you don’t look the way you did when you got together, or you’re not adventurous enough in the bedroom, or you don’t appreciate all the wonderful things they do for you, so they deserve to have a little fun elsewhere. If it suddenly seems like nothing you do is right, or things that never bothered them in the past, suddenly do, that could be a strong indication of cheating.
8. Friends seem uncomfortable around you - With infidelity, you, the betrayed partner, are nearly always the last person to find out. The cheater’s friends often know about the infidelity right from the start, and your own friends are likely to find out long before you do. This knowledge typically causes these individuals to feel uncomfortable around you. The cheater’s friends might try to avoid you or to be overly nice to you. Your own friends may try to avoid conversations about your relationship, and they might overcompensate by being extra nice.
9. Unexplained expenses - If you identify unusual charges on your partner’s credit cards, or there is suddenly less money in your or your partner’s bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, etc., that’s a possible sign of infidelity. If you ask your partner about these expenses, and their answers seem untrue, it’s likely that they are untrue. Infidelity costs money: gifts, trips, wine and dinners, hotel rooms, etc. The costs of cheating can add up very quickly. If you see inexplicable cash withdrawals or evidence of purchases from places you rarely or never frequent, it is an indicator of infidelity.
10. When you ask about cheating, your partner deflects and avoids - If your partner is unfaithful to you, the absolute last thing in the world that they want to do is talk about it with you. So if you do confront your partner about your suspicions and they deflect or become agitated, go with your gut feelings because you’re probably right.
Please note: Your partner could display all of these indicators and still not be cheating. But these remain signs that something is wrong in their life and/or your relationship. It might not be cheating, but there is almost certainly something that you and your significant other to talk about. At the same time, your partner could be exhibiting none of these indicators and still be cheating. Either way, the good news is that learning about infidelity does not automatically signal the end of your relationship. It simply means your partner has a lot of work to do if they want to restore relationship trust, make things right, and re-establish emotional and sexual intimacy.
Integrity Investigations has experienced investigators who will work tirelessly for you in an effort to determine whether or not your partner is being unfaithful. Our investigators possess the ability to obtain the evidence you need to confront your partner with your concerns regarding adultery or an affair in your relationship. At the end, you will possess the ability to make your own decision about how you need to move forward with your relationship and your lives.
